solace in knowing there's no one

so I can use this as a journal...

I hate my imperfections. I hate knowing that I could have done better. I hate knowing that I don't live up to the standards I place upon myself. I hate knowing that I can never live up to the standards of God. I hate that there's so much I could have done to make myself better-- yet I'm stuck having to live with the decisions and performances of my past. I want to go somewhere where it'll be hard to given my scores on tests, for example. But I need to trust in God. I need to. I need to do this before I fall upon myself.