the beginning of the end...of the beginning

My body is a daily reminder of my impending death. I feel it every morning as I pull myself from the bed, and even more so as I throw myself back onto the bed at night. I feel it as I walk up a flight of stairs; I feel it as I sit down in a chair. I was meant for death. I was born to die. 

I have rheumatoid arthritis, meaning that my body feels far older than it should. My back, joints, and muscles ache constantly, making extraneous physical exertion a major struggle, though I often hide it. I was meant for death. I was born to die.

But life is not all about death. Life is an adventure. Life is a race. Life is a beautiful journey in which we think and sing and dream and dance... Life is a gift. A marvelous gift. Yet it's a gift not even recognized by some. And though you could continue on and on about the beauty of life, you cannot get past the end. We were meant for death. We were meant to die. 

But what if someone said there was a solution? That it was not death to die, but that in actuality, death meant life? What if you had the chance to take eternal life? Would you take it? Would you hold allegiance to the one who gave his son so that you could have everlasting life? 

This pain in my body helps to remind me of life--and furthermore, and more prominently, the promises of a painless eternity- an eternity of joy before God, rejoicing in his steadfast love, forever grateful for his bountiful grace; forever praising his beautiful face. Yes, I may be dying physically, emotionally, and mentally day by day, but my soul is being refreshed and renewed even more so every hour. 

Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight!

close your eyes

i won’t forget that moment ever,

just us, dreaming and gazing into the sea.

i tried everything i could to make it last forever,

i held my breath, hoping that it wasn’t just a dream.

but a moment is but a moment, and a moment passes by.

and no, i couldn’t hold it, i couldn’t make it stop in time;

it simply slips through your fingers, no matter how hard you try.

and you’re left only to wonder, afraid to open your eyes.

There are some incredible things that just cannot be put into words, but I'll never stop trying to describe you. 

not simply a failure

I don't like to lose. And that's why losing is a much more powerful teacher than winning. 

to the north, to the north

colors dance along the sky, 

weaving and jumping as if alive. 

but what if they spoke?

what would they say?

if their silence they broke,

and laughed till the day?

so carefree they seem,

as they sparkle and gleam.

they play up above 

where no hand can reach

and maybe speak of love,

in some lost foreign speech

look up now and then if you happen to be

in the cold, darkened north, and maybe you'll see

Aurora Borealis

Your Online Persona

We invest our time into building our online identity in the form of social media sites, online games, blogs, vlogs, personal websites, all sorts of things. People spend years connecting with others over the internet, allowing for others to see them as something tangible online, perhaps not even presenting their real identity behind their persona.

But what happens when you die? Everything you put on the internet is out there for someone to see. Everything you put on the internet becomes something for people to remember you by. Knowing that, will that change what you post on Facebook, tweet, or blog about?

Here's a really interesting video about this topic. Feel free to share your thoughts!

HI HO!

I woke up this morning to my mother telling me to put on a Kermit onesie she had bought. It is, in short, amazing.
I foresee many wonderful days of dancing in this thing.

Memories

I wish I had some sort of bank to store all of my memories. Something more than just a flashback. Something more than a journal or a video, because those only capture the appearances of those memories. The exact feelings, emotions, and thoughts are what make a memory so much more than an action. To live that moment of pure joy or happiness once more, to live that moment with that one person again, to live that moment of unashamed sorrow... that--that is what I wish for.

For what are we without our memories?

the informed electorate

Many of you who read this are probably Americans under the voting age. However, that doesn't change the fact that you are still a citizen of the United States of America under the power of a democracy. I know I'm not really 'fit' to talk on this topic, but I think it's especially important to raise some sort of awareness about this.

What is the informed electorate? One definition describes it as the following:

Citizens who, when they exercise their right to vote, have the necessary information to protect their own interests.

I think there are three things to take away from this definition: 

1. Citizens of a democracy have the right to vote, a right to have their voice heard on issues of different governing policies of the land. In America, however, according to the U.S. Census Bureau's 2010 report, only 41.8% of the voting-age population voted. Less than half of our country's citizens have let their voices be heard. 58.8% of citizens from ages 18-24 years of age have not voted. The young people of the U.S. have the potential to guide how their generation is governed. How can you continually say what you want when you don't do anything about it? You can start by voting. But how shall I vote? Whom do I vote for? Take a look at the next point:

2. Citizens of a democracy have a duty to be informed with the necessary information. How do you expect to vote for someone when you have no idea what they stand for or support? Learning the policies and issues that are crucial to each candidate is vital for understanding what you or others may elect into office. There are very real issues being argued for and against across our nation. You have the right and ability to vote for a person who represents your values and views on different policies and issues. I challenge you, the reader, to take time to learn what's going on right now in the different levels of government in our country. Knowledge is truly power. 

3. Citizens of a democracy have the right to protect their own interests. In a democracy, the power (ideally) belongs to the people. The people have the ability, the right--the duty--to vote for a government that suits their needs most appropriately. It is about the people, whether they vote Democrat or Republican (or something else). The fact that we can vote for what we feel is best for us is an amazing reality and privilege. Use it. It's there to protect our liberties and freedoms set in the Constitution. 

The recent SOPA and PIPA bills and the controversy surrounding them are good examples of an informed public. Many Americans feared that these bills would take away their rights of free-speech on the internet and lead to a loss of internet anonymity. They feared censorship. And although the people didn't necessarily vote on these bills, they had the power to help sway the decision of these bills. 

The People have the power to help stop things in Congress. The public opinion in a democracy should win over that of a larger-than-life governmental system. 

"Someday"

Someday, perhaps, they say, we'll find a better tomorrow.
we'll find what we want in our lives.
we'll find a meaning, something to live for.
we'll find love.
we'll find joy.

But someday is nothing if we don't move to make it happen.
Your actions decide your future. You'll never be who you want to be if you don't do anything about it.

Don't waste your life. Do meaningful things.

MOAR Fortune cookies

http://afewbrilliantideas.blogspot.com/2012/01/fortune-cookies.html < This needs more fortune cookies. 

Like...  an actual picture of a fortune cookie. Or maybe twenty.

WOO WOO WOO WOO CHINESE NEW YEAR [even though we don't really have much of a celebration for it but still it's a cultural thing] WOO WOO WOO WOO

A Matter of Standards

"most people don't want to push themselves to failure. because then we don't look good. but then we don't get better. amateurs train to get it right, but professionals train until they get it wrong."

- Chris Costa -

a sea of glass

a life goal of mine: to look out upon truly still waters

Flying Without Wings

I love running. There's something to it that makes it so addictive--and I just can't pinpoint it. Maybe it's the fact that it sets my mind free from all that I care about; maybe it's the fact that it makes me feel weightless; maybe it's the fact that it creates a new world before me, a spinning new vortex of words, images, and feelings. I don't know.


But this I do know: the sense of freedom is all I need to keep going. There's no restraint, no one to tell you that you're failing, no one to tell you that you can't do this or that. Each footstep upon asphalt turns into so much more than a dull rhythm; it sparks memories of memories long lost in my mind to come alive, stirring the imagination once more to build upon and entangle these images in a dancing, swirling haze of mysteries. It's as if I'm weightless, physically and mentally. 


When I'm running, I'm free. I'm flying. 

To make what is already beautiful... even more so?

I don't quite understand why some girls depend on makeup. Some claim that they can't go without it. Others simply say it makes them feel better. Every so often, I run into some who say they only use their makeup to emphasize something. And then, of course, there are those who seem to be utterly dependent on their makeup. Why is this?

I won't deny that there's the importance of beauty to women. Here's what I found on the internet (what a lovely source to find what's important to women, right?):

"every woman is already beautiful, and every woman can be even more beautiful! It's simply a question of appreciating yourself, highlighting your natural beauty to project your own self-image, letting it shine through, and then finding out what happens next!"

Okay... I understand the first part: every woman is already beautiful. I think more people need to realize that, especially women. 

And next... every woman can be MORE BEAUTIFUL! YES!! Woooo!! I won't say that that's not a plus. I think all guys like to see beautiful women...unfortunately, that's how we're kinda made. Yeah, yeah, this is the whole outer beauty v. inner beauty thing, but what is most important to women? I guess we, as men, will never know. Hah.

But many women claim to be more than just their face and body, but the conglomerate of women (in first-world countries, at least, to be fair) seem to emphasize beauty over most everything else. 

I appreciate beauty and what God has made. I'm not against highlighting it with things like makeup. I just don't understand women who seem to have a permanent need for it. If it's an object / material of security, that...isn't right. Ladies: know that you're beautiful. Don't depend on some chemicals on your face in order to consider yourself as gorgeous. You have been made in God's image, and that's all that matters. 

i just died a little.

PENGUIN RACING GO GO GO

Penguin racing- this is obviously what is going on here.

I'm putting my money on the one with the black bill. 

It is finished.

3 things. 

1. I forgot to check on the mouse trap stuff and if I had actually killed the thing days ago. Turns out... it died, but not from the mousetrap. 
2. It turned out to be a shrew. [Warning: this link & subsequent pictures may offend / disturb / traumatize you. If you're not comfortable with seeing a small deceased creature, don't click the link.]
3. Shrews look a little silly.

Soooooooo.....

Our mock trial team is brilliant. Sure, we might have a lot to work on, but I think this weekend was a success in that it has proven to be vital for practice purposes for us all. Hurrah for a job well done, everyone!

Day 1

The first day of the competition is dooone. It's a little relieving having done your portion, but also...not, knowing that you'll have to get through all of it again the next day. Both sides did an excellent job-- hope all goes well in the next two rounds.

soo... a style question.

what's better? this?

or this?

mock trial

http://www.dolphin.upenn.edu/mock/Benjamin%20Franklin%20Invitational.html

I'm going to be participating in that this weekend... sounds intimidating, but I know we'll do great. Please pray for our team!

Not about me

Today sucked.
And I feel super dead.

Yet days like today are the ones that I realize that I need a savior. I need someone to save me from my drowning feelings. I need someone to show me that I am not all that's in my life or the world. Life isn't about me. Life's about giving glory to God and living a life exemplary of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He died so that I could pick myself up on days like today and keep running for Him. He's given me hope. He's given me the grace to live for His name.

Nerd.

I've always hated being considered a nerd. It was a reality I never ever wanted to face. In my mind, it meant the stereotypical list of terrible things: glasses, a skinny body, social awkwardness, unathleticism, and knowledge for days. Thus began my quest to become someone, something--anything other than a nerd. In making a personality for myself, nerd would never be anything I would become. Never. Ever.

It didn't work out... even though I tried to work out. I tried to be cool (because apparently I never thought nerds could be cool), I tried to be different. I even tried to turn myself into a jock. We all know how that turned out. But I had to face reality; I had glasses. I had a skinny body. I was socially awkward. I was unathletic. I knew words that not even half my friends knew the meaning of. I was a nerd in my eyes. I am a nerd in my eyes.

But you know what? I'm okay with that. Because in this world, knowledge is power.

I'm going on a mouse hunt

I attacked a mouse last night. I kicked it. I shot it. I dropped iodine on it. But most of all, I was scared to death of it.

It was trying to get out from under the attic door--which just happens to be right next to my bed. It got out. I chased it back in, but not before kicking it.

It left a mark on the wall.

I then proceeded to block off all the exits from the door. Here's my setup. Keep in mind this was at 3 in the morning, and at the time I couldn't think of much. My heart was also in my throat the whole time. Yeah. I'm a 17 year old male afraid of a 4-inch rodent. I could use a little bit of growing up, I know.

One of the creepiest parts was lying in bed watching the flag twitch. :|

But the story doesn't end there. I'm taking the fight to them. Bring it, baby. I'm ready.

to be an astronaut

sometimes I feel so trapped here on the earth. I wish I could just float away into the sky.

Brand Names

I do not understand why people are absolutely obsessed with clothes with brand names on them. Is it that desirable to be a walking advertisement?

My Family

This describes us in so many levels.

a need for dependence

it's good to be weak sometimes; it helps us realize that we're not the strong ones and we can't rely on ourselves.

A Wake Up Call

this is our chance.
let's take it.

take it or watch others take it from you. opportunities often come only once.
we are, like it or not, the future of our country. this is our moment, this is ours.
the future lies in our hands. our lives lie in our hands. start now.
don't miss it.

don't be caught unaware as the future comes to pass, wondering what happened. reality happens. reality is real. wake up, shake up, bring yourself to realize that time isn't forever. we're made for a purpose. look around with an eternal perspective. 100 years is nothing compared to eternity.

join me and wake up our generation. let's do things. things that matter-- not only for our futures, but especially to God.
live, love, laugh, and above all, give Him the glory of everything we do.

Reflection: A Man's Duty

I grilled tonight. Yeah, I know. There's not much like standing outside in 20 degree weather listening and smelling meat cook on the grill racks.

"Grilling in January?" you might ask, to which I'd reply, "Yes."
Again you question. "Isn't it a little dumb to be out there grilling in 20 degree weather in January??"
"Perhaps," I'd say. "But it doesn't matter, because when you're a man, you don't care about what time of the year you're grilling. A man's grill is the equivalent of a woman's kitchen. It's their life-long love. And you never ever abandon that love, even when wind gusts of 30 mph are beating you down. No-- no, you never back down. You take that wind, you take that coldness, and you wrap it in your bare fist and you rip the head off and then you shove it down your throat. You see, men were made for roughness. We eat that cold so no one else has to. You say we have cold hearts. That's the price we pay for your warmth. But that's alright. We were here to serve, and likewise, we were here to grill. So don't go questioning me on the stupidity of my idea to go grilling in January. It's a man's duty, and someone needs to fulfill it."

"Want some pork?"

et tu, brute?

New Year's Eve