solace in knowing there's no one

so I can use this as a journal...

I hate my imperfections. I hate knowing that I could have done better. I hate knowing that I don't live up to the standards I place upon myself. I hate knowing that I can never live up to the standards of God. I hate that there's so much I could have done to make myself better-- yet I'm stuck having to live with the decisions and performances of my past. I want to go somewhere where it'll be hard to given my scores on tests, for example. But I need to trust in God. I need to. I need to do this before I fall upon myself.

#Give Me a Sign

I feel alone, earthside. I want to be good at things I haven't been at before.

But I need to be content... and know that God is sovereign.

I am silent.

and I watch the world spin by.

it is pulling, teasing, taunting, screeching

but I cannot be pulled in, I cannot.

those around me seek to move me,

but I cannot be pulled in, I cannot.

why do I stand? why must I fight?

I must seek holiness.

and in this, I am silent, invisible.

yet knowing there is one who never misses anything...

I am not alone.